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Time

2026-06-14

How do people have time to do so much? Am I slow? Do I allow for too many idle gaps in my day? Do I overestimate the scope of how much other people get done? I mean. All I see of their lives are the times spent doing things. condensed down into viscous productivity. splicing the emptiness. forgetting the duration. And a lot of times, it's days and weeks of doing layed out all in one place. I don't see what was before, what was during. I only see the collection of after, products, completion. My life is the only one I witness every second of. I can't compare myself to end results when I ignore the process and forget my own completions. Maybe if I kept all of my "afters" in one pladcde I'd feel like my time is worth something. How much doing before it turns did? How long does it really take to accomplish? Accomplish what? Why does it only matter after it's over? because that's what other people see. it's not the process, it's the validation, from external sourcdes, that you receive when they see that you've accomplished. They don't care about accomplishing, they care about accomplished. We live in past tense.

-yours, truly, with a heart full of mud ♡